December 13th 2008
Christmas comes but once a year.....but doesn't the year go quickly!
I have vowed that this year there will be a limit to my spending. I am not being mean-spirited - perhaps the reverse. I usually get carried away and worry that I haven't bought the girls enough and then I buy a bit more to try and even it up etc. Which makes me feel mean that I even worry about such things. So with my new limit for everyone and a strong idea of what I'm going to get them I am not going to worry so much. I will take the required amount of money from the bank and hopefully not spend it all. I'll look out for bargains and not be side-tracked. If others want to spend more than me it's up to them - no longer will I get my knickers in a twist by worrying that my brother and sister have spent more on me than me on them. I have tried (my god i've tried) to get the family to be sensible and pull one name out of the hat so that each one of us would be buying for our own kids then one other present. But no - mum thinks she'll get something she doesn't want (as if)! So if I don't spend as much they'll hopefully like what I've bought and get the message next year - don't spend much money!
Despite all the awful things that can happen at Christmas (arguments with other family members, mum being a bit funny - not humorous etc) I always love waking up on Christmas morning doing the tree presents - all the paper everywhere, the music on and a feeling of well-being served with cups of tea and vegemite on toast! If there was no more to Christmas day I would probably love it. But this year I won't get that part because my youngest daughter might be working (or sleeping), middle one is away and eldest and fiance have their own house. To top it all off I'm not having Christmas day at my house - the eldest is doing it. Which means it's going to be a very unChristmassy Christmas this year. And my partner doesn't arrive until the evening when we go to his daughter's house - and they have their way of doing things which is good for them but which I feel a bit of an outsider at (not surprising since I've only had one Christmas with them before). Then boxing day is at Belair national park with his family - or some of them - and I'm not so good at that one either. So all in all this Christmas is going to be a bit different. Christmas morning is going to be the worst of all. Perhaps I need to invite neighbours over for vegemite on toast and a cup of tea!
That's the reason so many get depressed at Christmas or special occasions - the expectations we put on the day are hardly ever realised. I do want Christmas lunch back though! I don't care how hard it is or expensive - I want it back!
Perhaps this time next year I'll be thinking - why don't we all go out for Christmas lunch - so much easier! Or better still, go away for Christmas! At least that way I will have no expectations destroyed - I will have none to start with!
A wonderful holiday in Tasmania was a great start to - the year? It seems as though the year has hardly started and here we are looking at diaries for the latter part of it! I just don't know where the time goes - how many times do we say that to our friends and family and the sales assistants at the supermarket - but it's always so true!
